Said Sheree

This story of love and literary funding appears in Transported.

Sheree and Miranda met at a party. Each left with the other on her mind.

Several weeks later, the Mexican Ambassador, a keen patron of the arts, held a reception. Miranda, ranked as a Tier Two poet for funding purposes, saw Sheree across the room. Miranda made a beeline for her – only to realise that Sheree was with a group of Tier Ones. Embarrassed, Miranda backed away.

That would have been that; but, a little to the north and far beneath their feet, Gaia shifted in her sleep. Poets and patrons alike rushed for doorways and crush-proof spaces. Sheree and Miranda found themselves pressed together against an antimacassar. Their mutual awkwardness was obliterated by fear. “You’re beautiful,” said Sheree. Miranda, plain and tall, was swept away.

Heads were counted once the tremor passed and the tumult subsided. Miranda and Sheree were missing. Separately, from Sheree’s bed, they phoned in their excuses.

Miranda went home. “I haven’t seen you for days,” her flatmate remarked. It wasn’t much of a flat, not really, and the flatmate held the lease.

“You can move in with me,” said Sheree.

Having lugged the last of her boxes up Sheree’s steps, Miranda went out on the deck. The harbour view, which she had admired since the first night she spent there, now felt like hers. The weather was grey and cold. Far below, hardy ants, gloved and muffled, scurried to and fro on the beach.

Between Miranda’s job and Sheree’s funding, they had enough to pay the rent, and a little left over. They each had time to write. Sheree wrote in the morning, after Miranda had left for work, and spent the afternoon completing grant applications and working on a project to deliver sonnets by mobile phone. Some platform-specific issues were still to be resolved.

Miranda wrote on Saturday afternoons, while Sheree played hockey.

They had other interests in common. They both collected earthenware. They both loved tramping. In summer, they joined a party heading south to Nelson Lakes. They were the only writers. It was bliss.

They dealt with literary functions by arriving separately and avoiding each other, though they exchanged sly glances when they thought no one was looking.

It worked for a while. But, inevitably, word got around. A small independent publisher agreed to bring out Miranda’s first collection. “I want to be with you at the launch,” said Sheree. “I’m not going to pretend.”

The publisher had hired a church hall. A few bankable names came along. When Miranda read, Sheree stood in the front row. When Miranda signed, Sheree sat next to her. “You must be so proud of her,” someone told Sheree.

Sheree’s third collection was launched at Unity. Sheree dragged Miranda along. That didn’t go so well. Miranda hung back, feeling like a fraud. Sheree talked with her friends and cast irritated glances Miranda’s way.

Miranda retreated to the outer shelves, looking at a bound edition of Ursula Bethell. Blanche Baughan was reassuringly close at hand.

Sheree forgave her. They forgave each other. They got drunk. They compared royalty statements. “It’s more about grants and residencies,” explained Sheree.

In the autumn, Miranda was up for reclassification. Without the support of a university press, Miranda had no realistic hope of moving up to Tier One, but she was still disappointed when the envelope came.

“Never mind,” said Sheree. “I love you anyway.”

Sheree’s status was secure for two more years.

Miranda came home from work a few weeks later to find Sheree bouncing off the walls. “Look at this!” she said.

It was an invitation from the Northern festival circuit: Nuuk and Norilsk, Vorkuta, Longyearbyen. Four weeks north of the Arctic Circle, reading, writing, workshopping. And watching out for polar bears – they could kill you. “I’m to be preceded by a man with a rifle,” said Sheree.

New Zealand literature had never before been represented so far north. It was a feather in everyone’s cap.

“I’ll miss you so much,” said Miranda. She clung to Sheree, tenderly, fiercely.

Sheree bought Miranda a video-enabled phone before she left. Four weeks of Sheree – blond hair poking out of her fur-lined hood – cavorting with new friends, silhouetted against snow, standing next to oil drums full of burning blubber to keep warm.

Nuuk, the capital of Greenland, was surprisingly cosmopolitan. Norilsk was one giant chemical dump. In Vorkuta, Sheree won the V. I. Morozov Prize for Best Recital of an Individual Work, for her declamatory piece in the style of Gregory Corso. The prize, thanks to a well-connected local businessman, was paid in US dollars. With the news, Sheree sent an air ticket. “I’m stopping over in the Caribbean on the way home to thaw out,” said Sheree. “See you in Basseterre!”

It took some nerve to ask, but Miranda’s boss was understanding. “I wish I could go with you,” Miranda’s boss said, and Miranda realised, suddenly, that she meant it.

Basseterre! Miranda had never heard of it. Palms shaded the beach, the locals talked about cricket, and once they had circumnavigated the island of St Kitts, there was nothing to do but eat, drink, sleep, and make love. Sheree kept Miranda entertained with tales from the frozen North. Longyearbyen had been the wildest of the lot. “Those Norwegians!” said Sheree. They were crazy up there. So were the bears.

They came home to the wind and the rain. Sheree set to work completing her fourth collection and editing podcasts from the festivals. She had secured funding for a G5 workstation, her latest pride and joy. Miranda had three poems published in Takahe and two more accepted by JAAM. She read at the Angus Inn. It was a wet night in the Hutt Valley, and some of the locals stayed away. Her collection, which was now heavily discounted, sold three copies. Not bad, considering. She was given a voucher for petrol, though she had conscientiously taken the train.

Sheree’s poem about their week together in the Caribbean is justly famous and much-anthologised.

Miranda’s boss gave her a promotion. Miranda and Sheree joined a soccer team. Sheree was the centre-forward. Miranda was a holding midfielder.

Delivering sonnets by mobile phone had not been a complete success, but the project hit the jackpot with haiku. Haiku were back, said Sheree.

People grow and change. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. A new funding category, Tier Four, was introduced. In consequence, Tier Two poets became eligible to be mentors, and Miranda took on a mentee. She was young, tiny, a wounded bird. Her name was Caroline. She lived in Johnsonville.

Nothing might have come of it, had Sheree’s success at Vorkuta not been noticed in high places. It took a public-private partnership, with a mixture of tagged funding, corporate sponsorship in three bands, and matching Government contributions, but at last the deal could be announced. Sheree would be New Zealand’s first poet in space! She would carry leading New Zealand brands to low earth orbit, and return with a three-book deal.

It was on for young and old. Sheree became public property, meeting the Prime Minister, appearing on Takatapui and Kiwifruit. In months, in weeks, in days, she was off to Star City to train for her mission.

“I love you,” she told Miranda, from the airport, from Moscow, from Star City. Photos: Sheree in a centrifuge, her compact body whirling round. Sheree hanging weightless in the hydrolab. The two cosmonauts who would be flying her to the International Space Station, Valentina and Vsevolod. Their brave little Soyuz spacecraft. I love you, Miranda, said Sheree.

Miranda’s mentee was promising but needy. Miranda allowed herself to engage in conduct that was inappropriate to the mentor-mentee relationship and breached the terms of her contract with the funding agency. She reproached herself late at night, as she watched Caroline sleeping.

Sheree appeared on BBC World, CNN, and Al Arabiya.

Miranda kept writing. A second published collection would be something. Not everyone made it that far.

Live streaming video of the launch, with Russian-language commentary, was available. Using high-speed broadband on Sheree’s G5, Miranda was able to hear the countdown, see the rocket on the launch pad, watch it vault upwards into space.

Sheree made contact. Docking had been successful, and she was aboard the space station. Three months to do nothing but write, and sleep, and float. (And help around the place; tidiness was especially important in space.) Every 92 minutes, she would pass overhead.

The mentoring period finished. Caroline could now be revealed as Miranda’s girlfriend. She had dependency issues, but that meant she was usually home.

Miranda broke the news to Sheree by scheduled uplink. Sheree did not respond immediately. One orbit passed, two. Then Sheree said she was sad, but not surprised. Also, two nights ago, she and Valentina …

Miranda had three poems published in Bravado. Sport and Landfall regretted to inform. Trout did not reply.

As a result of Miranda’s excellent mentoring, Caroline was reclassified to Tier Three. She sold a poem to North & South. You’re going places, girl, thought Miranda.

Caroline had an empty room and a double bed. Miranda decided she was going places too. She moved her boxes out of Sheree’s house, down the steps, and off to Johnsonville. She promised Sheree that she’d continue to water her plants. Sheree had already asked Miranda and Caroline to come for dinner the first weekend after she got home from Russia. I want to be your best friend, said Sheree.

When the last lot of boxes was safely in Caroline’s van, Miranda returned to stand on the balcony for one last look across the harbour. Oh, she would miss the view! On the promenade below, hardy ants rode skateboards, walked dogs, and ate products containing dairy, gluten, and traces of nuts.

Above, the stars shone steadily. Among them was Sheree. Miranda could see her clearly. She was looking out of a porthole, smiling fondly down.

Transported Interview Podcast Available

My ten minute interview with Ruth Todd of Plains FM in Christchurch is now available online as a podcast. It can be played online or downloaded as an MP3 file.

Ruth and I talk about:

  • my short story collection Transported
    (which you can buy online through Fishpond or New Zealand Books Abroad, among others, or in person at an increasing range of bookstores)
  • why some ideas turn into poems and others into short stories
  • the benefits of diversity in a short story collection
  • my disastrous attempt to impress a woman [you know who you are!] with my Russian accent when it turned out that her boyfriend spoke the language fluently
  • the educational benefits of the Intermediate Section of the Invercargill Public Library
  • being the child of assisted immigrants
  • writing a short story about literary funding (come in, “Said Sheree”)
  • acceptance and rejection from both the writer’s and the editor’s point of view
  • The Frank O’Connor Award longlisting for Transported.

The interview was a lot of fun to take part in. I hope you enjoy listening to it.

Nice Photo … Shame about the Review

After the very positive review by Jessica Le Bas in the Nelson Mail, and several good ones in other papers, most lately the Timaru Herald, Transported has had its first bad review, by Steve Walker in the Listener.

Mind you, it wasn’t all bad. He said good things about “Rat Up a Drainpipe”, “The Wadestown Shore” and “The New Neighbours”, but he seemed to struggle with the shorter stories, and the less realistic stories — and as for the shorter and less realistic stories, they were right out.

Well, there’ s a name for this aspect of what I write : it’s called interstitial fiction, and it’s something I’ll be posting more about in future. It’s not everybody’s cup of tea, but I hope it will be yours.

(Incidentally, Chris Else had an entertaining reaction to a bad review by Steve Walker of one of his books — see the third article down.)

The Listener review is headed by a jumbo-sized version of my author photo. This pleases me, not for egotistical reasons, but because a recent interview with photographer Miriam Berkley points up the importance of author photos in a crowded book market. There’s some wonderful author photos accompanying that interview, and it’s well worth reading.

Sonali Mukherji, who took my author photo, is an excellent photographer. She took the photo at the Kelburn Croquet Club, next to Victoria University, on a brilliantly sunny day last year. The sun was reflecting off my glasses, so she insisted I take them off: that also took years off my apparent age! It’s a bit like The Picture of Dorian Gray; I can grow steadily more decrepit, while my photo continues to twinkle at the world.

Transported, not Transporter!

The things you never think of … quite a few people seem to think my new book is called “Transporter” rather than “Transported”. This post is to make it clear to everyone (including Google) that the title is Transported, and that it isn’t a tie-in novel to the movie starring Jason Statham. There are slightly more explosions and car chases in Transporter than Transported.

In other news, the shortlists for the Montana Book Awards have been announced. It’s good to see Johanna Aitchison’s A Long Girl Ago included in the poetry category, and Mary McCallum’s The Blue in the fiction category.

Transported: 1 day to go – Dedicated to Writing Groups

My previous books have been dedicated to individuals – my wife and son; my parents – but Transported is dedicated to the members of three writers’ groups: the Writers’ Intensive Care Group (WICG) (Dunedin), the Phoenix Writers’ SIG (Wellington), and the Writing Crew (Wellington).

The reason for this dedication is that many of the stories in Transported received their first public airing in front of one of these groups, and that they have, at different times and in their different ways, provided me with a great deal of support as a writer – plus, I’ve made some really good friends in them .

WICG was the first writing group I joined, and I’m still a corresponding member – at least, when I visit Dunedin at the time a meeting of the group is on, I take great pleasure in attending one of the meetings, as I did a few weeks ago. WICG has always consisted of artists and musicians as well as writers, and in fact, it is now largely an artists’ group – including some artists whose names are not yet widely known, but which should be! What I valued most from WICG was the encouragement it gave me at a time when I had little confidence in my writing.

When I moved to Wellington, I joined the Writers’ Special Interest Group of the Phoenix Science Fiction Society – a group that has produced a number of writers who have gone on to significant success. I found that the Writers’ SIG gave more detailed critiques than had WICG, but less encouragement – and, at that time, I had a thinner skin, so I found the critiques harder to take than I do now (he says, wondering if he is deluding himself …)

I’ve already blogged about the Writing Crew, the group that came out of the 2003 Writing the Landscape course at Victoria (CREW 256, hence the name). We’re not meeting regularly at the moment, as members disperse to various parts of the globe, but I hope we will again – and I keep in touch with many of the members in the meantime.

I was (am?) a little odd, because, for a long time, I found it easier to send my work off to editors I didn’t know than show it to fellow writers. But, if you are a writer, then I encourage you to find a group of other writers who are prepared to met regularly, be honest – but not destructive – about each others’ work within a framework of support and encouragement, and want to write and keep writing (or paint and keep painting!) and get better at it. If you already belong to such a group, formal or informal, you are in luck.

Transported: 2 days to go – Getting Around

A lot of people, a lot of places, but what the stories in Transported have in common is that they all feature journeys of some sort – journeys ranging from a few hundred steps to many light years. Actually, all the stories in my first collection, Extreme Weather Events, include journeys as well. Could there be a theme emerging here?

The term “Transported” shouldn’t be interpreted in purely physical terms – some of the characters are transported by love, others by envy, fear or greed – but in the book, characters:

walk
trudge
hitchhike
travel by ferry
travel by jetboat
travel by tractor
run up and down the pitch
move house
take the train (to Lower Hutt; to the Finland Station)
fly into space
fly through space
skateboard
fall in the pond
set the matter transmitter for the banks of the Dnieper
drive back home from kids’ cricket
run the 100 metres in the school sports
run for their lives
set sail surreptitiously
emigrate
drive a bulldozer
drive a Lotus 49T
fly in a plane
soar aloft on their pinions
plunge to earth
walk with a limp
dance (fast)
dance (slow)
drift in a dinghy
sail in a yacht
go out for a few quiets
climb to the top of the mountain
climb the walls
climb trees
spelunk
slide
jump in the water
wade in the sea
go under
dissolve
reconstitute
hop to it, and
walk some more

No bikes, eh? Must try harder next time.

Transported: 3 days to go – Places

My second index (or, more properly, concordance) of Transported: a selection of places visited or referred to in those 27 short stories – the bulk of them real. I have put these in roughly south to north order, but there’s a little east and west as well, so don’t sweat a few degrees here and a few degrees there.

McMurdo Base, the Wright Valley, Lake Vanda, Don Juan Pond

Punta Arenas, Patagonia

The Sandy Point Domain, Invercargill, the flat Southland plains (as twilight flows in), Gore, Queenstown, Wanaka, Rabbit Pass and the Waterfall Face (experienced trampers only), the Waiatoto River, Haast

Dunedin, Tomahawk, Smaills Beach (warning: footing uneven), Flagstaff, Taiaroa Head

Christchurch Airport, the Clarence River, the Seaward Kaikouras

Wellington, Miramar Island, Oriental Bay, Mount Victoria, the National Library of New Zealand (Rare Books Collection), the Basin Reserve, Island Bay, an imaginary tryline, the Loading Zone, the Angus Inn

Mana, Kapiti, Shannon, Palmerston North

Ngaruawahia

Utley Terrace, Rosemont Primary

Canberra, Goulburn (which does little to break the monotony), Sydney, Dubbo, Parkes

Basseterre (capital of St Kitts)

Santa Fé, Gainesville, Quantico, Washington, DC, the East River, Wyoming

Thebes, Mount Athos

Exmoor, Porlock (a poor excuse)

Saxony (where exchange students come from)

Moscow (who lost 5-1), Gorky Park, Kazakhstan, Lake Baikal

The Finland Station, Murmansk, Magadan

The Northern Festival Circuit (Nuuk, Norilsk, Vorkuta, Longyearbyen)

The Valles Marineris (with robots running around)

Triton (a moon of Neptune; Samuel Delany got there first)

Felsen’s Planet (in the Arcturus sector)

The Virgo Cluster (fifty million light years away)

Looking at People and Places, I guess I could have called the book “Strangers and Journeys” – but that’s already been done.

Transported: 4 days to go – People

To initiate the new discipline of “indexing for surrealists”, here is a small selection of people (most real, some imaginary) namechecked in Transported.

George Gregan, Sheree (a Tier One poet), Miranda (a Tier Two poet), Carl Dooley (an ironmonger), V. I. Lenin, Arthur C. Clarke, Arkady Renko, Marilyn Manson (a musician), Bruce McLaren, M. Foucault (a philosopher), Lacan, Kristeva and Baudrillard (other philosophers), Wayne Foucault (a dairy farmer, brother of M.), Krystal (who’s at yoga), Borges (a librarian), Senor Borges (a Distinguished Visitor), Billie Holiday, Alex Lindsay (and His Orchestra), Lisa Bryant (who put up an umbrella), Losi (an engineer), Mrs Masters (who died the other day), Mrs Parsons (a governess), Samuel Taylor Coleridge, Jacques (who thought he was a parrot), Cleve Cartmill (but not this one), H. P. Lovecraft, Sir Timothy Hyphen-Hyphen (a spy), Velimir Grushnikov (also a spy, but more sinister), and Trevor (from Hamilton)

Transported: 5 days to go – Opening Paragraphs

Transported, my second short story collection, is published this coming Friday, the 6th of June. To whet your appetite, here are the opening paragraphs of five stories from the collection.


When She Came Walking

The first time she walked down our street, pots jumped off stoves, coal leapt from scuttles, wood went rat-a-tat-tatting down hallways. In our yard, a broom and spade got up and lurched around like drunks, trying to decide which way she’d gone.

The New Neighbours

High property values are the hallmark of a civilised society. Though our generation may never build cathedrals nor find a cure for cancer, may never save the whales nor end world hunger, yet we can die with smiles on our faces if we have left our homes better than we found them, if we have added decks, remodelled kitchens, and created indoor-outdoor flow.

Robinson in Love

Lisa gave Robinson a knife, a bowl, a chopping board, and three tomatoes. Later, she gave him lettuce, cucumber, and carrots. By the time he’d run out of ingredients, he had made a salad, and Lisa had cleared the table, split bread rolls, and set out slices of camembert and little pottles of dips and spreads. Robinson would have settled for Marmite.

The Wadestown Shore

I cut the engine in the shadow of the motorway pillars and let the dinghy drift in to the Wadestown shore. The quiet of late afternoon was broken only by the squawking of parakeets. After locking the boat away in the old garage I now used as a boatshed, I stood for a moment to soak in the view. The setting sun was winking off the windows of drowned office blocks. To the left lay Miramar Island, and beyond it the open sea.

Books in the Trees

As soon as I understood what a book was, I resolved to become a bookkeeper. To the dismay of my parents, I was forever climbing trees in hopes of catching an unwary volume. Of course, I never did; they were far above me, flapping unmolested from branch to branch.

Transported Longlisted for 2008 Frank O’Connor International Short Story Award

I’ve been blogging like crazy this week, but there’s good reason for one more post: my short story collection Transported (which you can pre-order online), which will be published by Random House New Zealand in June, is one of four New Zealand short story collections longlisted for the 2008 Frank O’Connor International Short Story Award.

The New Zealand collections longlisted are:

  • Transported, Tim Jones (Random House New Zealand)
  • Etiquette for a Dinner Party, Sue Orr (Random House New Zealand)
  • The Girl Who Proposed, Elizabeth Smither (Cape Catley)
  • Ask The Posts Of The House, Witi Ihimaera (Raupo)

The Guardian has the full longlist of 39 books and an article about it.

I’m really pleased about this, but it’s important to keep a sense of perspective. It’s a longlist – a looooong longlist. The quality of the other New Zealand selections (congratulations to all the authors!) indicates the strength of the field. The shortlist is announced in July, and I don’t expect Transported to be on it – but I won’t deny that I’ll be very pleased if it is!

It’s also good to see a prize specifically for short story collections, which are sometimes neglected beasts in the literary zoo.

UPDATE: If you’re looking for a review copy of Transported, or other ‘official’ publicity material about the book, please contact Jennifer Balle, jennifer (at) randomhouse.co.nz